As many of you already know, my mother died unexpectedly four weeks ago today on the morning of Monday 26 December
2022.
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| Mom just a few days before her death. |
My
mother started elective chemotherapy three days before Christmas. In
September, she had part of a lung removed because a tiny spot that had
last been imaged 9 years ago had grown to become something malignant.
Her surgeon felt comfortable with the margins, but told her she could
see an oncologist if she wanted further consultation. Her blood work was
fantastic! She was in great health, even at age 80. However, my mother
had been on steroids for many years to combat a rheumatology issue.
She was prescribed a normal course of chemotherapy, which she received on the
22nd, three days before Christmas. This included intravenous steroids as well as oral steroids to be
taken in the following days. She felt fine on both Friday and Saturday.
On Sunday, Christmas Day, she felt nauseated, and sent my sister and me a text
message saying as much. She declined a phone call from me. She told my
sister not to come over with the gifts. Mom just wanted to nap. Friends
and family texted her over the course of the day, but she spent the
holiday alone.
On
Monday morning, my sister went over to our mother's house. BJ had
broken her leg right before Thanksgiving. She still had that foot in a
boot. She came clonking into the house, Christmas gifts in hand.
She turned the corner and discovered our mother's body in a pool of
blood and bodily fluids in the downstairs bathroom. The cell phone was
in our mother's hand. It happened so fast, Mom hadn't been able to punch
9-1-1. From discussion with our mother's primary care physician — who,
like the rest of us, was in shock — it appears the steroids eroded the
gastric lining, causing a fatal bleed.
If there are words in the English language to describe this level of awful, I do not know them.
While this blog is normally devoted to knitting and other fiber arts, there will probably be a fair number of posts this year on a different topic. I'll be using the label "MomDiedNowWhat?" to make these searchable. I'll post my mother's obituary, which I wrote from notes she left behind. I'll post the eulogy I wrote. I'll post what I am learning about estate planning and how to make things easier or harder on the people left behind. My mother was in the same house for 54 years. My sister is executor, but it looks like resetting the house will fall largely to me, as I have a squishy schedule. I expect a lot of traveling back and forth between Pennsylvania and Georgia.
I also hope to post stories. My mother loved stories. Already, there are a number of funny things that have happened. And there have been unexpected blessings. I'm sorry Mom isn't here for me to tell.
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